If you want to improve your relationship with your partner or enhance intimacy and connection together then here are some great Gottman Relationship Institute tools and resources for you to try out, with or without the help of a couple’s therapist.
Many couples around the world are practicing social distancing and self-isolation due to COVID-19 which means that the relationships dynamic may change. Some couples will become more stressed and strained while others will flourish and thrive through adversity. This time shared at home is an opportunity to reconnect and try something new.
If you are both going through a difficult time together or are unable to attend face to face relationship counselling or individual therapy right now, then these resources will help you to focus on making things better without the help of a professional therapist. Many psychotherapists and relationship counsellors are now providing online therapy and telephone counselling which you could also consider.
Most people do not know or understand exactly what makes happy healthy relationships and we tend to just go with the flow and hope things work out for the best. Dr. John and Julie Gottman are experts in relationships and have studied couples for over 30 years. They know what makes marriages succeed or fail, they talk about striving for ‘the good enough relationship’ and not the perfect relationship which quite simply does not exist.
If your partner is reluctant to give your relationship the attention it deserves right now, do not panic. As a relationship counsellor, I can tell you that there is often one person far more invested in trying to make the relationship better. You are 50% of your partnership and you can influence your relationship in many positive ways while also learning about your own emotional and relationship needs.
Here are some excellent resources from the Gottman Relationship Institute that I hope you will find helpful right now, what ever your circumstances.
Small Things Often Podcast – Listen to recently launched Gottman Institute podcast which provides simple short tips in less than five minutes which can help you to improve your relationship. Learn about staying connected, understanding, listening, problem solving, attunement and the principals of making your relationships work. Available on Apple and Spotify.
The 7 Principals For Making Marriage Work book by John & Julie Gottman – Learn exactly what makes relationships work or fail from the experts in relationships based on over 30 years of research from 30,000 couples. For couples wanting to get to know each other better, why not try out their latest book ‘Eight Dates – Essential Conversations For a Lifetime of Love‘. Both are available from your local book shop and on www.bookdepository.com
The Marriage Minute – Sign up to the Marriage Minute Newsletter – It’s a resource of tools, articles, videos, exercises, and more, all founded on Drs. John and Julie Gottman’s four decades of research and clinical experience, delivered straight to your inbox.
Couples Workshop Online – The Art and Science of Love Couples Workshop – Just launched last month and based on the 2-day couples workshop all across the USA, its is for couples and clinicians of all ages. This couples workshop, 8 hours duration is now available to watch together online from the comfort of your own home. This is a excellent way of focusing on your relationship in your own time.
‘You and your partner will learn how to foster respect, affection, and closeness in your relationship. You will build and share a deeper connection with each other. You’ll learn how to keep conflict discussions calm, how to break through conflicted gridlock, and how to strengthen and maintain the gains in your relationship.‘ – The Art and Science of Love
The Gottman Relationship Blog – A relationship blog by professional relationship experts for individuals who want to learn more about relationships, communication, conflict, trauma, healing from affairs and infidelity, marriage and couples therapy. Use the search function to narrow down your search.
The Gott Sex website – A unique website created by The Gottman Relationship Institute for couples who want to learn how to develop intimacy, make real love and have deep and meaningful sex. The Gott Sex is a series of online videos couples can watch together and includes information and exercise to help them learn more about each other.
Thinking of starting couple’s therapy? The Gottman Relationship Checkup is a clinical tool your Gottman therapist uses for your couples therapy assessment sessions. The questionnaire consists of 480 questions about friendship, intimacy, emotions, conflict, values, and trust, as well as parenting, housework, finances, individual areas of concern, and more. It costs $30 to complete and the full report goes directly to your Gottman Method couples therapist to discuss in your couple’s therapy sessions.
Stay safe, stay connected and stay supporting each other.