Finding out your partner or spouse has betrayed you in some way is devastating and traumatic. Partners go through a process or stages of emotions such as shock, disbelief, anger, hurt, depression, questioning.
Betrayal in relationships can take many forms, it is often confused with infidelity which is a form of betrayal. Other types are being secretive, dishonest, disloyal, lying, disrespectful and lying by omission in a relationship. Betrayal is essentially breaking or breaching the trust and commitment developed between two people while at the same time creating a false sense of safety, security and reality.
“Discovering your significant other has a secret sexual life is a traumatic event. As a result, many betrayed partners and spouses deal with traumatic stress symptoms such as physical pain, increased anxiety, insomnia, depression, poor self-image, overeating, substance abuse, and sexual withdrawal.” – Mari Lee
Sadly betrayal can develop in relationships were one person is experiencing problematic behaviors and sexual addiction and porn addiction. Sexual betrayal leaves partners feeling confused and traumatized as they start the process of piecing their lives back together. Many partners of sex and porn addicts and those who’s spouses have had affairs are faced with the healing and recovery from betrayal and infidelity.
There is healing and support for anyone faced with healing from betrayal and infidelity. It is recommend that you seek the support of a professional Psychotherapist who understands what you are going through with experience of infidelity, affairs and sexual addictions. They can help guide and support you through your own healing process and that of your partners what ever the circumstances. They can also help you understand the process you are going through and discuss how to navigate rebuilding trust in the relationship. This may take the form of a formal disclosure process with your partner, identifying non negotiable ground rules in the relationship and working towards making important decisions and choices about your relationship future together.
This insightful and helpful e-book resource called Healing from Betrayal – An e-book for partners and spouses of Sex and Pornography Addicts by Mari Lee can help you understand more about what you are going through and how to cope in the aftermath of a betrayal, infidelity or affair. Mari Lee is a Licenced Sex Addiction Therapist (LCSAT) in the USA could help you understand more about your own healing process and the steps to take next. You can listen to Mari Lee on popular podcasts about sex and intimacy such as Sex, Love and Addiction with world renowned therapist Rob Weiss.
This e-book which costs around $20 to download will help you understand more about betrayal, sex addiction, sexual recovery, the disclosure process and your own important healing from trauma and recovery process.
Mari Lee also has a wonderful workbook called Facing Heartbreak – Steps to Recovery For Partners of Sex Addicts which I have on a recommend reading list for my clients who come to therapy for partners recovery and support.
Many people who come for counselling have either discovered that their partner has betrayed them (discoverer) or has been told that there has been a betrayal or infidelity (discovered). There is professional support during this difficult time. Couples if they work together can and do rebuild relationships, trust and commitment again with the right support.
